Another not so happy email this week. Its interesting how life works and how some missionaries dont have any real reason they came on the mission. Some because they know they are supposed to. Some because they were obligated by their parents. Some because they have nothing else to do. Some because the rest of their siblings went and so they are obligated to do the same. The latter would be my companion. I have made the mistake of allowing him to use the phone even though President told me not to. I thought I could trust him enough and thought that I had seen a big change in him. I WAS 100% WRONG!
Yesterday after church, I overheard my companion talking on the phone with another missionary in our district, who pretty much happens to be his best friend. I heard him saying how this last transfer he is not going to work at all and just completely "die". Guess who told President he would like to finish the time of his mission with him? I did... After he finished the phone call, I asked him about it. He, for whatever reason, was really angry, and had completely changed. Its like he flipped a switch that allowed him to be filled with the adversary... He told me it wasnt a joke and that he was only going to leave if I did, but wouldnt support me, work with me, bring anything, basically wasnt going to do a thing. I imagine he thinks I'm just going to put up with it and say, "Oh well, I tried!" He was so very sadly mistaken and obviously had not taken this transfer to get to know me like I did him. I immediately called President... things are in the works right now and he is still deciding what he is going to do. More than likely, my companion will be sent home a change early... Neither President nor I wanted it but we both refuse to let him sit around and do nothing. If he is not going to work then we have to get rid of him... It scares me to think what he is going to do when he returns to the real world and tries to find a job... what will he do if he just gets tired of working? Who knows...
After the phone call yesterday that I made, my companion absolutely refused to do anything. He wouldn't even leave the house... We sat in the house from 3:00 til the end of the night. We now virtually have almost no investigators to teach, and I cannot leave to find more because my companion refuses. I cant find a youth to work with because we have none in our ward. I am hoping that I receive a new companion that will support me and work hard with me.
This past week we worked really hard... and nothing turned out of it. I'm not sure why. I imagine that the Lord is breaking me down in some way so he can see how diligent I am. I am patiently waiting for the blessings to come from being diligent... but it is very hard... The only thing I can keep thinking is "Christ had it harder than anyone, so I have no room to talk. All I can do is make him and Heavenly Father proud..."
I was not able to purchase a camera yet, so unfortunately I will not send pictures again. I plan on searching today, so if I find one in time, I will try and send pictures tonight.
Elder Scott Donner